Lessons in Homemaking and Life

The following was written almost 6 years ago while dealing with the grief of losing my mother.  I think it is also timely due to the current feminist debate.  I'm not posting this to try to contribute to that debate, but it touches on some of my non-feminist views.  

Lessons in Homemaking and Life

Mom while pregnant with me.

I was going through some recipes of my Momma's earlier and just broke down at the sight of her handwriting.  I'm telling you, it's the weirdest, smallest things that make me break down.  Seeing her handwriting on those browned, worn-out recipe cards made me remember all the good times when she would bake - family reunions, holiday dinners. It also made me happy to think about how much she enjoyed cooking, baking, being a hostess, and just being a housewife in general.

Mom went to beauty school and became a beautician right before she married Daddy in her late teen years.  She worked at beauty shops for several years back then and a couple of other short-term jobs later on, but for the majority of their marriage and definitely after I came along, she was a stay-at-home wife and mother.

As I was growing up, I had NO desire whatsoever to learn to cook, sew, or any of the other housekeeping type of activities.  I did well in school and graduated Valedictorian of my high school class.  I wanted to "go places" and be a doctor (Optometrist) or a computer programmer or several other different careers that  I spent all of high school and three years of college trying to decide on!  I pretty much brushed Mom off when she tried to show me things here and there.  I hated housework (that is pretty much still the same! lol) and was always impatient to get back to whatever book I was reading at the time.  Patience is not my strong point!

I finally settled (and I do mean settled) on a career of teaching high school English Language Arts.  I then proceeded to  drop out of college after three years because I realized my personality was not suited at all to being a teacher.  I went to work full-time, got married, and slowly, slowly began to change my outlook on being a homemaker.  I began learning to cook on my own, and over time it has grown to be a strong passion of mine.  

After dropping out of college, and as a result, losing my scholarship, I struggled with the goals I had set for myself and the goals others had assumed for me.  I felt like I had failed in some ways and failed some people, and maybe I should have went ahead, stuck it out, and gotten SOME type of degree just to have reached that milestone in life, but I believe God and I have worked out those issues for the most part.  I don't know what the future holds, hopefully children one day, and maybe it holds a degree in culinary somewhere down the line. :)  I long to use my baking as a ministry to reach others and also possibly a career down the road a few miles.  I certainly would not discourage anyone from getting a college degree.  Our finances can testify to that, especially now that I'm not working at all. :)  But Seth is good at his job (computer programmer/ web designer), and God knew that I would have to be a caregiver to my parents down the road.  What would I have done with a high-maintenance career then? 

I said all of that to say this.  lol  I realize now what a special, important, and fulfilling job it is to be a homemaker - to take care of your family. I wish I had WANTED to learn to cook and sew and all the homemaker-type of things Momma tried to show me when I was younger.  I could have learned so many lessons back then... how to can and "put up" food, make clothes... so many things!  At that point, I thought I wanted to be a career woman. :)  Thought being the key word.

At least Mom did get to see some of my passion for cooking develop over the last few years.  One of the last memories I have of Momma before she got so sick the last time was of her sitting in the kitchen last Thanksgiving (2010) telling me how to make dressing and gravy. She even had us help her stand up in front of the stove (without her oxygen) so she could show me how to make the roux for the gravy.  That was the first time she had done anything in the kitchen in several years.  I take some comfort in knowing that she enjoyed that day and the fact that she was finally able to teach me some of the things she had tried so hard to do in the past.

Mom and Me.

Looking back over my life, I have done so many things impulsively and impatiently.  I have done things MY way and not asked God for His opinion. :)  I know that God has taken care of me all of these years and ultimately that He has blessed me with so many people and things that I don't deserve.  He has taken care of me - despite ME.  But I also know that I could have done things easier, without so much heartache, regret, and guilt, if I had been in the Word more, prayed more, and actually waited and listened for God's reply before I moved forward.  I am trying to do these things now and I still struggle a lot with my patience, but God is with me.  With my cooperation, He is slowly changing me to be more like Jesus.  I sure do have a LONG way to go and I fail all the time, but it feels so good to be moving forward and not to be in that old rut any longer!



"I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." - John 15:5 NIV (Jesus speaking)

"Whoever claims to live in Him must live as Jesus did." - 1 John 2:6 NIV

"But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [that can bring a charge]." - Galatians 5:22-23 Amplified Bible

"But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength they shall mount up with wings like eagles ;they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." - Isaiah 40:31 ESV

"Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him." - Psalm 37:7a NIV

"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." - Psalm 27:14 NIV

- Debra Graybeal,

written April 10, 2011.