There are less than 2 hours of 2017 left as I sit here reflecting on the past year and on the one rapidly approaching. 2017 flew by. It is amazing how fast time really does fly the older you get. I will be 37 in 2 weeks. I know I'm not old, but I'm not exactly young anymore either. Lol
There was so much I wanted to accomplish in 2017 that didn't happen. But I also have to remember that a lot of healing did take place this year. Seth and I have had a rough several years, and I need to remember to give myself a break and the time to slow down, to process, to breathe, to heal. Time passes fast, but grief and healing, as well as anxiety and depression, follow no time-table, calendar, or clock.
March 6th was the due date of our baby who didn't make it to see 2017. We watched Mother's Day and Father's Day pass with empty arms. I suffered a very low time of severe depression in the middle of the year, probably more severe than most people realized. Seth was very worried and my psychiatrist was concerned. Then I experienced an allergic reaction to newly prescribed Prozac and had to switch meds without tapering. It was a rough time for me, and for Seth, but God saw us through. I slowly improved again.
I was able to join the staff at Essential Church as a volunteer member. Much of the last part of the year has been spent in the church office, working from home, or on staff trips. This has been such a blessing for me. A part-time job with responsibilities, but without the complete responsibility of a paying job. It has been challenging in a good way and has helped me feel like I am contributing to life again.
We are so thankful for our family and our church family. Friendships have been made and have gotten stronger this year.
Seth and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary this year. He understands me like no one else ever could. He takes care of me, protects me, encourages me, loves me. He is still my forever love and best friend.
We still don't feel like we have a clear answer from God on whether to pursue getting pregnant again. My biological clock is ticking....lol. But we are continuing to pray and wait for answers. And I am praying to be content with whatever that answer is.
My hopes for 2018 are better health for both of us, less stress, and much more traveling and enjoying life. My mental illnesses will probably never completely go away this side of Heaven, but I pray to be able to live life to the fullest more in 2018.
Happy New Year, friends!
